[thoughts]

Something strange happened today. (Sorry, this is not a post on research/browsing or ‘intellectual’ subject matter that I attempt today).

Something strange happened today.

In the process of a conversation with a friend (whom is also a flatmate), I learnt that, to them, I was considered gentle. I…have been called many things, and not-called things in response to not knowing how to describe me a lot, both, but –

No one, has ever perceived me as gentle. Or gentle-mannered (read: in behaviour). Now, there may have been a problem in communication -always a possibility- but I do not think that’s the case. I feel strangely touched, honoured that someone thinks of me like that.

And thankful to her for sharing something so surprising and sweet unintentionally-so. Unless I mention it, I doubt this friend will realise.

I only realised in a moment of comprehension (which I love as a skill by the way) due to successive other moments of realisation/comprehension whilst reading ‘The Giver‘- Lois Lowry. Which might not have happened, otherwise.

WE MISS A LOT. ALL THE TIME. Wow. I knew this, I just…the extent sometimes I forget. Also: something to consider– letting people know how you percieve them, somehow, with -tact- out actually blatantly telling them (unless that would work for them/your relationship with them) so it doesn’t seem like e.g. you’re after something/attempting manipulation/want something ect, so you seem genuine and not e.g. ‘being nice’, would be a great thing you might want to do. Why? Because, maybe? That something is something they have never been called before. They might assume, because they know themselves..but the recognition is powerful. Or it might be they considered it was part of their personality (or not) and it just faded, that idea. Unloved, unbelieved, that sort of thing- unmade even, so they disassociate with it and themselves.

Suffice to say it would touch them and show how happy/grateful they are the way they are to them from you. Consider it, yes?

 

_________________________________________________________________

Maybe this could be the start of my PEOPLE-dynamics project: perceptions, ideas on that multi-faceted language that is behaviour/facial expressions/body language/tone (a cypher/type of code where meanings can change for a ‘sign’; unlike, e.g. maths). Just my experiences.

 

Polyphasic Take 2#; IAT’s.

26/02/2016 2:47AM

IAT stands for an Implicit Association Test.

I am polyphasic-ing; day two, though I have been tweaking since the last post…couldnt quite get the naps right. But I think I’ve got it now. Sleep 3-6, 1st nap: 12- 12:20, 2nd nap: 3-3:20, 3rd nap: 9-9:20.  It’s uneven but as long as I stick to it I shall be fine. So today’s the day after staying up -no sleep, so I can nap easier. I’m tired and this counts as the first sleep since then (did not do the naps as this is the core sleep, see?).

Got less than 15mins to write this. Going to do an IAT.

I am going to do the Gender- career IAT: if you wish to try do not look at the images below: 

SPOILERS!!!!! DONT LOOK BELOW.

…I changed my mind the next post will have the images; the Runthrough

 

 

 

 

———————————————————–

Sources:

IAT site, try yourself, take with a pinch of salt : https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/user/agg/blindspot/tablet.htm

 

 

 

 

 

16/02

Journal,

Starting polyphasic sleeping again- my schedule planned out is as follows:

core sleep : 2AM – 5AM

1st nap: 10AM-10.20AM

2nd nap: 3PM-3.20PM

3rd nap: 8PM-8.20PM.

I have set alarms, with my alarm (my phone) away from the bed, I have a free day tomorrow and the next two weeks are light work.

A brief update

Journal Log #WhoKnowsWhat

Ehem. Journal Log Entry #16.07.01 

I find myself in a space with decidedly moderate lighting, moderate but -drat it- notably cold ventilation, with a pleasant side-affect: the whirring is consistent enough and quiet enough to suffic- provide what is coined, ‘background noise’ to a well-done degree.

How has my day been going? Some may ask.

It’s going.

I ventured out of my room.

Into the library.

And feel exposed to..space. There’s so much of it; it should compress itself more, dastardly thing. *grumbles*  Be less free with oneself, comport itself with greater dignity, for goodness sake. If not for the palpable chill…I would not hesitate to describe it, as, -gasp-: loose. Loose.

—–

Moving on, I’m studying and this is a very -self-oriented post. I feel distinctly human, and not in the usual emotional-spiritual-enlightening-or-wrenching way, either. Feeling pathetic (but only slightly, which means I’m only disgusted with myself),

Nami

P.S: Some nibbles for your hearts, souls, minds – things you probably already know (but it doesn’t hurt to be reminded, sometimes; or, well. Things you knew subconsciously but couldn’t give a name for- not quite. But you knew.)

An album (?) of good points:

d6e83ea0217b95e6c99091e9aee1c1ab
31a7803d8a1644e7f9aedafb7c603ba3e68157ad70f4d13b4f54c540e2c5c72a9371373e90df7fac0167deec4bcaf464

ae74c6c32f76de985b26276d0c6381ae

 

Log

Hi.

It’s been busy, in a build-up sort of way (but I am trying to find that cosmic balance).

Today I went running for an hour. I made a gift bag and wrapped a gift I’d bought with my friend for a deal (for us both; gift-agendas coinciding). I attended the lecture and took notes and tried to pay attention to flatmate and coursemate alike. I spent some lovely time with a friend bonding. We did a lot of cool stuff which motivated me. I discovered the financial times isn’t just business in a corporate sense and can help so much more. I visited a possible apartment/house. I watched ‘Home’ and Devil Wears Prada today. I had a cup of coffee (it’s been a while). I collected pebble-stones from the first spread of sand-beach here, some for myself and some to take back to my friend. I got earrings and rings today for a deal. I was stared at and had a car slow almost to a stop next to me- the looks unfriendly, so I sped up and was safe again. I am pretty sure they circled us twice onwards. I ran with weights on. My dishes are done, my room clean. Today is a Friday. I have been remembering my medicines. The playlist for Home was great:

Home Playlist

I particularily like ‘Towards the Sun’- Rihanna. I feel so motivated but I need to sleep.

To Do List- Saturday I have tabs for jobs I need to research. I have newspapers I need to analyse next to me. I have a kindle book to read a bit, two academic books and the assorted research notebook next to me, a diary/journal + goal planner. I want to paint and visit the seas edge in daylight and get strawberry candies and stretch and catch up to notes and fill in the pages. I want to do my training tomorrow. I want to join SilverLine, visit the court, join in the INNOCENCE project and enter into writing and essay competitions. Tomorrow I am going to teach another friend how to do her hair via Pinterest- maybe two. I have to do my book-keeping. I have to fulfil my to do list here.

Yesterday I made pancakes successfully.

SHARE: ’21 Little Things To Make More Time For Next Year’

Sure you have to pay the bills, and sure there are only so many hours in the day, but take time to doing whatever it is that flows naturally: writing, painting, singing, swimming.

Source: 21 Little Things To Make More Time For Next Year

-A bit of mindfulness; self-awareness really. Found that it points out the little things that, in retrospect, or with a little thought, make sense and seem obvious, except when you’re busy, mentally, physically, in every-day or special-days life. See?

 

So, a reminder.

A cheerful extract

Hi Journal,

I have been busy with NaNoWriMo and since then, been briefly sick with lack of sleep/insomnia which took a trip to the AandE, and lots of bed rest (3 days, 1 1/2 hrs sleep through them; slept Monday 5pm-Tuesday 4.20, with a couple instances of wakefulness- water)…but alas, a quick post for my absence:

 

current read: The Fellowship of the Ring:

 

 

(walking-song, Hobbits humming)-

Upon the hearth the fire is Red,

Beneath the roof there is a bed;

But not yet weary are our feet,

Still round the corner we may meet

A sudden tree or standing stone

That none have seen but we alone

Tree and flower and leaf and grass,

Let them pass! let them pass!

Hill and water under sky,

Pass them by! pass them by!
Still round the corner there may wait

A new road or a secret gate,

And though we pass them by today,

Tomorrow we may come this way

And take the hidden paths that run

Towards the Moon or to the Sun.

Apple, thorn, and nut, and sloe,

Let them go! Let them go!

sand and stone and pool and dell,

Fare you well! Fare you well!

 

Home is behind, the world ahead,

And there are many paths to tread,

Through shadows to the edge of night,

Until the stars are all alight.

Then world behind and home ahead,

We’ll wander back to home and bed.

Mist and twilight, cloud and sbade,

Away shall face, away shall fade!

Fire and lamp, and meat and bread,

And then to bed! And then to bed!

-( courtesy of Bilbo, and written by windows phone- much harder than if I’d. Used the laptop…grr.)

 

nami x

Diary Log #letssayNo.4

Hi Diary,

So uni’s been great- at the moment is a not so great time for me, which is why I felt it healthy to blog it… I’m sick with stomach stuff and my ears gone weird too. I’ve missed a tutorial which is important (now I’ve missed 4 lectures and 2 tutorials since September- once I missed a tutorial and lecture by accident; technical mistake happened to almost all the class, and two lectures from back pain or illness) and now I’m wondering if maybe I should pull out of one of the competitions for law this year? Not sure.

What comics would you collect if from scratch?

Hello Journal, 

Today I am considering a vital question: what comics would I collect? It all started when considering Halloween costumes for myself and my flatmates (we’re going as the Suicide Squad).

So, DC or Marvel?

DC

  • Batman
  • Catwoman
  • maybe superman

MARVEL

  • Xmen
  • (maybe) Thor
  • (maybe) spiderman
  • daredevil
  • deadpool
  • Avengers 🙂
  • The Guardians of Galaxy